Sutapa Sikdar, late actor Irrfan Khan’s wife wrote an emotional note on social media on the late actor’s 1st death anniversary.
In the note, she talked about the actor’s last night at the hospital as described how she and her friends sang songs for him.
“People living deeply have no fear of death Anais Nin your favorite poet Irrfan. Last year tonight me and my friends sang songs for you, all your favorite songs.
The nurses were looking at us strangely as they were used to religious chants in critical times
but I had overdone that for you irrfan morning evening and night for two years and since they told me it was time I wanted you to go with memories you loved ‘so we sang songs’.next day you left for the next station I hope you knew where to get down without me..363 days eight thousand seven hundred and twelve hours.
when each second is counted,” she wrote.
She went on to talk about the time he passed away, which was so surreal as he was so interested in the mystery of numbers.
“How exactly does one swim this huge ocean of time. The clock had stopped At 11.11 on 29th April for me. ‘Irrfan you had a keen interest in the mystery of numbers.
And funny you had ‘three 11’s on your final day. some say actually many say this is a very mystical number 11/11/11.
How does one walk ahead of the pandemic just adds to the anxiety, fear, and pain,” she shared.
Sutapa wrote about the emotional turmoil she went through when she had to change her name.
“The days went by with umpteen responsibilities some extremely new ones like signature galore for changing of the name. My fingers kept stopping on that how could I just take his name away and make it sutapa, I was unable to sign took a day off and the name game played on my mind. Like a film in a projector,” she wrote.
She, then, spoke about the day she met the actor for the first time.
“I remember sitting outside NSD late evening ..beautiful girls from kathak kendra floating out ..they were all very well dressed up unlike us we were always in our blue track pant and sky blue t-shirt.
Both boys and girls wore the same ‘and you mispronounced my name and I tried to correct and rubbed it in, as usual, my permanent thing that north Indians are so stupid and they only can pronounce sunny Vicky Rahul type names and proceed to kake ki dukaan in gol chakkar to have ek bata do chai’.”
Sutapa concluded: “its been a long journey of correcting each other spanning a lifetime. fighting arguing laughing evolving together. you were the loner in a crowd.
And now a whole crowd has followed you up there ..by the way, OM from the tea stall in the nukkad went some years back as he made a chai ka stall up there?
are you having Ek bata do chai there. and are drinking water from the running streams? All of you stay in peace remember us that we loved you, all of you.
And remember all of you is missed by someone or the other ..all your families grieve ..may you all rest in peace! I hope there is enough space I hope some of you will forgive us for not being able to give a respectable cremation #irrfan#NSD#nationbleeding#wearesorry#restinpeace”.
Irrfan was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer in 2018. The actor passed away in Mumbai’s Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital on 29th April 2020.